It was the end of another busy day in our home. I had been on the go running behind to every appointment and was desperately trying to play catch up. Bedtime was approaching so while I finished up work on the computer, cleaned up the kitchen from dinner, and put in another load of laundry my husband headed up to take our five-year-old to bed. Because I am usually in the midst of wrapping things up for the night, it is daddy who typically does bath and bed routine with our little guy. Tonight I was particularly bummed for some reason so I was rushing through everything to get upstairs for a story, a snuggle, and a kiss.
By the time I got to his room the lights were out and his eyes were closed. I looked at my husband and my eyes got a little damp. I realized I was so busy with a “to-do” list I was letting these nights pass me by. I leaned down to rub his cheek and kiss his forehead when he opened his tired eyes, grabbed my hand, and sleepily asked “mama will you lay with me?”
I excitedly replied “I would love to buddy.” So I booted my husband from the bed and snuggled up to my final baby. He smelled fresh and clean from his bath. His fine hair was so soft. I laid there listening to his breathing while his soft dimpled hands held onto mine. His breathing slowed as he was slipping off to peaceful slumber. I laid there long after he was asleep simply taking in the views of this little guy’s room at this stage of his life.
The stuffed Mickey Mouse on top of the toy bin. A favorite of his from the days he was obsessed with the Mickey Mouse Clubhouse. He would wake up and toddle into my bedroom where we would lazily tune into Disney junior and all his favorite shows before we started our day.
The Christmas tree that he wasn’t quite ready to give up when we took down our Christmas decorations. This boy could be Buddy the Elf’s twin with his incredible love and excitement for all things Christmas.
The little baseball signs that we hung when we transformed his nursery to a big boy room. Only to find out after it was finished that he really wanted a soccer room like his big brother Lukey.
His name. Wil. With one “L”. The decision I made when I was postpartum. A name he’ll forever have spelled incorrectly, but I grinned knowing he is too cool of a kiddo to have a plain old name.
Laying in his little room. Surrounded my his favorite things that represent him and his big personality in this fun stage of his life. A cherished memory forever burned into my mind to take a breath and take the time. The to-do list will never end. The dishes and laundry will wait. Nobody needs an immediate reply to an email. But this beautiful five-year-old grows up every single day. I know too well that these snuggly moments will become less. I’ll never look back with regret that I didn’t accomplish more in the evenings. But what I do fear is the regret that I was too busy with inconsequential stuff to rub the back of a sleepy little boy. A little boy who adores snuggling with his mama, almost as much as his mama adores snuggling with him.